Signs You Might Have Repressed Unresolved Trauma from Childhood

07 Mar Signs You Might Have Repressed Unresolved Trauma from Childhood

Unresolved trauma experienced as a child leads to “stunted” adulthood.

Repressed childhood experiences and memories of it leak through numerous emotional responses you have as an adult. Though, as debilitating as it may feel, there’s always help to address the core issues.

Signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults can be seen in overly anxious, self-conscious, and emotionally unstable behavior.

Ever noticed how your instincts kick in as soon as you face certain events? But to others, it may seem insignificant. To them, you are overreacting.

But is that so?

You may not be aware of it consciously. But your brain knows the experience and the consequences all too well to allow you to feel secure.

In the same way, experiences as a child form the basis of mental associations you make as an adult.

So, if you’ve had an unstable childhood, chances are the effects will be seen later on in life.

Sudden realizations of past trauma can also trigger intense anxiety, confusion, and emotional upheaval.

Just think of how difficult it is to manage emotions even as an adult. And it’ll give you a good idea of how traumatic it could have been for your child self.

Thus, some memories are repressed deep within your psyche as a coping mechanism. Well, it’s more like you dissociate from some of the traumatic emotions associated with the events.

There are a lot of controversies regarding the repression of memories. Read Memory Wars for more details.

It’s not until you become more self-aware about the symptoms of childhood trauma that you can address the recurring issues.

10 Signs of Repressed Childhood Trauma in Adults

It’s not uncommon for adults with childhood trauma to have a disintegrated sense of self-esteem and identity.

In addition, there can be some of the following symptoms of childhood trauma in adults that you need to be wary of:

1. Struggling to act like an adult
2. Fear of abandonment
3. Getting triggered by certain situations
4. Repeated patterns in adult relationships
5. Developing unhealthy and toxic attachments
6. Intense feelings of guilt and shame
7. Blocked memory of events
8. Overly pessimistic approach toward life
9. Unworthiness and lack of self-confidence
10. Difficulty in making important life decisions

As a child, you didn’t have the ability to filter events through the lens of better judgment, education, and healthy boundaries.

You were left vulnerable in the face of challenges your brain didn’t know how to handle.

Childhood trauma could have been in the form of sexual assault, molestation, and physical dangers.

The effects of childhood molestation in adulthood can be even more devastating. Struggling with self-identity and feelings of shame and self-pity are common.

Additionally, the absence of one or both parents, emotional avoidance from caregivers, bullying, or witnessing domestic violence can leave imprints that last.

The trauma, thus, stays unresolved well into your adulthood until you recognize the issues and seek support.

Ask yourself if you can relate to any of the signs of repressed childhood trauma mentioned above. It’s important to know that not all of these are indicative of symptoms of childhood trauma in adulthood. 

However, if you’re certain of your experiences as a child, these pointers will help cultivate a better understanding.

#1. You Struggle to Act Like an Adult—Consistently

Whining and throwing things around are not exactly adult behaviors. So, if you often find yourself acting out like this, there may be deep-rooted issues.

Know that this doesn’t include occasional feelings of frustration and immature acts.

However, the repeated display of child-like behavior shows you haven’t addressed some issues that may stem from your childhood.

The symptoms are so unconscious that you might have failed to take note until now.

Some people may even start acting out in a child-like voice and show stubborn behavior.

There’s no need to shame yourself, though, if you’re in the same boat. But you do have to be more aware and find tools to manage your emotions the next time you see this happen.

#2. You Have an Intense Fear of Abandonment

This is one of the most common signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults.

An adult who has experienced avoidance from caregivers may cling to people in their life. Feeling emotionally dependent on others and people-pleasing can be early indicators of this kind of behavior.

Some people even feel the need to be with their partner all the time. They get overly jealous and cannot bear even the slightest hint of distance.

This is problematic, to say the least.

Feelings of insecurity and lack of self-identity can make other people in your life feel burdened.

Understanding that no one is responsible for your happiness but only you is important. Plus, as an adult, no one can really abandon you. You’re in full control of your life unlike when you were a child.

A therapist might be able to help uncover why you feel the way you do and what to do about it.

#3. You Get Triggered by Certain People Or Situations

Other signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults may also involve feeling alarmed in some situations. 

These circumstances remind you of memories your brain has registered as a threat. 

Certain smells, sounds, or sights may make you feel vulnerable. This can often be a sign of repressed memories coming back to haunt you.

Your brain remembers these stimuli and that can trigger uncanny feelings of insecurity in you. 

The same applies to interpersonal interactions. 

Some people might feel like a threat as you relate them to something that didn’t go well in your childhood. 

Getting distrustful of yourself and others triggers some serious anxiety as well.

SIDE NOTE:

These types of tendencies are also present in adult relationships. PTSD from past relationships can leave lasting damage and a fear of certain people and situations.

#4. You Notice Patterns 

How often is it that some people find themselves in the same kinds of relationships in spite of knowing better? Pretty often, right?

People with repressed childhood trauma centered around emotionally unfulfilling parents often strive to find validation through adult relationships. All this happens unconsciously without you being aware of the patterns.

For instance, a girl with an emotionally absent father may seek adult partners who exhibit the same behaviors toward her.

It’s familiar and offers her the opportunity to mold her partner in the way she wanted her father to be.

Essentially, filling the void left by her father and trying to find the validation she seeks from another male figure in her life.

Needless to say, these kinds of relationships are doomed from the very start. 

Due to a lack of awareness, you’ll fall into the same patterns again and again without knowing why it keeps happening. 

#5. You Form Unhealthy Attachments in Relationships

In the same vein, you might also notice adult attachment disorders if you had an ignorant parent or caregiver. 

Signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults caused by emotionally avoidant parents result in:

• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Abuse or trauma as a child makes some people fearful of deep emotions. This fosters distrust and a lack of mutual connection in adult relationships.
• Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: If a child’s emotional needs are ignored, they grow up to be avoidant of emotions. If you can relate, you may be over-independent to avoid feeling vulnerable in front of another human again.
• Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: On another extreme end of the spectrum, someone can be too clingy in relationships. This usually results from the lack of emotional security and validation as a child.

In most cases, you’ll be able to relate to at least one of these attachment styles.

In that case, getting in touch with a therapist or cultivating a better understanding of your relationships will help.

#6. You Feel on the Edge—Emotionally

With so much going on inside your unconscious mind, it’s easy to feel exhausted mentally. 

In fact, this may also make you feel physically ill and fatigued.

People with repressed childhood trauma can go through a range of emotions on a constant basis.

Their brain is in overdrive, particularly in situations that feel threatening.

Intense feelings of shame, guilt, and lack of a healthy sense of self are common personality traits of sexually abused adults.

Other forms of repressed childhood trauma may resurface when you feel sudden jolts of anger that are frightening to others.

Not only this degrades personal health but it also damages the ability to connect with other people.

Thus, it’s crucial to ask for support when you can’t deal with it all on your own.

IMPORTANT:

Mental and physical exhaustion can also be a sign of depression. Seek immediate support if you feel overwhelmed.

#7. Blocked Out Memories

Memories are powerful and can make or break you at times. Therefore, in order to protect you, the brain blocks out some painful memories.

It buries them deep in the subconscious mind. You might even wanna call it “dissociation”. Some of the repressed childhood trauma survivors have unconsciously blocked their memories for hours, weeks, months, and even years.

When this happens, the signs of repressed childhood trauma may present itself as feeling a lack of connection to the world around you and feeling as if your memories of certain events are disjointed.

While it’s very rare, it is not uncommon to see trauma survivors detach or dissociate from painful thoughts and feelings. The survivors fail to recall the minute details of the trauma even after trying hard.

#8. Overly Anxious and Pessimistic Attitude

People with a traumatic past or repressed childhood trauma often show signs of pessimistic attitudes and anxious behavior.

It is common to witness them constantly on guard to protect themselves. The continuous hyperarousal behavior makes them sensitive to touch and noise.

Also, in order to protect or guard themselves, repressed trauma survivors may continuously look for signs of danger, making them irritable and anxious. This often exaggerates the situation and leads to problematic responses and a lack of trust in the people around them.

Trauma survivors may also have a pessimistic approach towards life and situations.

#9. Feeling of Unworthiness

Childhood trauma can not only take away the memories but also the confidence of the survivors. If the trauma survivors were made to feel unworthy and disposable during their childhood, it continues to damage their self-esteem throughout their lives.

The feeling of not being good enough, or feeling a lack of self-love and self-worth are common among the survivors. This might also make them vulnerable to people pleasing and a nagging urge to work extra hard to be in people’s “good books“.

It actually takes a lot of effort from them and also the constant support from well-wishers to feel worthy and confident again.

#10. Inability to Make Decisions

Repressed childhood trauma can take away the ability to handle stress and adult-life issues. It may also jeopardize the ability to make important decisions. Coming out of your comfort zone, making a choice, or doing too many things at once can overwhelm these feelings.

You can often witness trauma survivors trying to escape tough situations, throwing childhood tantrums, or simply being unreactive during problematic situations.

Being unable to cope with even normal stressful situations is among the most common signs of repressed childhood trauma.

Other symptoms of childhood trauma in adults may also include:

• Struggling to act like an adult in stressful and demanding situations.
• Strong and uncanny reaction to certain sights, smells, and places. 
• Feeling alarmed by some people and not feeling safe around them.
• Finding it hard to cope with certain experiences sensibly (fight-or-flight response).
• Noticing repeated patterns of negative behaviors. 
• Intense fear of abandonment or unhealthy attachment in relationships.
• Getting into repeated cycles of codependent relationships as an adult.
• Emotions bubbling up to the point of exhaustion.
• Panic and anxiety attacks in certain situations.
• Difficulty controlling emotions and managing anger.

Recognizing the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults is easier when someone remembers the experiences. 

But what if you don’t have any memory of the trauma?

Can Repressed Memories Be Recovered?

The idea of recovering childhood traumatic memories doesn’t have any substantial proof yet in scientific literature.

It’s important to remember that memories are complex. People may also make up stories to fill in memory gaps and believe they are true.

Other than that, similar experiences may also trigger fright and intense reactions. 

The American Psychological Association also states that it’s quite difficult to distinguish a real recovered memory from a false memory.

As a result, it’s crucial you don’t self-diagnose. A professional will be able to help in most cases. 

A therapist can help you overcome traumatic experiences from your past if you suspect you have repressed trauma. 

It’s also imperative to understand why we go through these experiences! 

Can’t the past always stay in the past?

Possible Causes of Repressed Childhood Trauma in Adults

Brain development is in a critical stage, particularly during early childhood.

If this is the time you experienced or witnessed emotional or physical abuse, you bet the effects will last. 

The risk of developing the above signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults can be higher in cases of prolonged abuse.

Some of the possible causes that may explain repressed childhood trauma in adults include:

1. The amygdala is overactive in individuals who have experienced trauma as a child.
2. Trauma instigates chronic stress that may reduce the functions in the area of the brain that processes memory.
3. The brain’s emotional memory center is triggered in the presence of danger, activating the fight-or-flight response.
4. The capacity of the thinking part of the brain shuts down when we perceive danger.
5. Traumatic experiences and memories may remain stuck in implicit memory and are not fully integrated.
6. The brain’s inability to contextualize the memories triggers flashbacks and re-living of the trauma and its associated feelings.
7. Enhanced mental sensitivity to threat and higher levels of cortisol.

So, you see it’s pure biology. A person who has gone through trauma in the past cannot always act in a way expected of them.

Those suffering are not the ones to blame. They can themself be unconscious of how they react to certain stimuli.

In fact, the neurological system gets heavily compromised due to trauma. Trauma survivors face issues with verbal expression and finding emotional stability.

Henceforth, it’s paramount to get educated about the neurobiology of trauma. 

Moreover, practice compassion and understanding instead of shaming those you can’t necessarily “understand”.

Here, it’s important to note that the mere experience of the above-explained symptoms doesn’t validate the presence of repressed childhood trauma.

Any mental health trauma, repressed or not, can also cause some of these same phenomena. Moreover, there are many other explanations by experts, and it’s critical you consider them.

Repressed Childhood Trauma: Why Is It Controversial?

Anecdotally, repressed memories are generally associated with some kind of trauma or distressing event.

Your brain drops an overly distressing memory to the non-conscious zone. This, as a result, doesn’t allow you to think about it.

But is repressed childhood trauma in adults as simple as it sounds?

Not really!

Trauma and Memory

Recovering repressed memories in children and patients with trauma is a debatable topic. Many researchers are speaking against the adopted practices of recovering repressed memory.

It’s believed that these practices implant false memories in the minds of victims.

Notably, recovery from trauma involves recalling past events. However, repressed memories, where the victim doesn’t remember a thing about abuse, are uncommon. Also, there’s not much evidence to prove it except for some real-life accounts reported by the trauma survivors.

So, how did it all start?

The idea of repressed memory started with Doctor Sigmund Freud, who developed the concept of “repression”.

According to Freud, child abuse is the major reason behind mental disorders, particularly conversion disorders.

As per Freud, repression is the fundamental defensive mechanism of the brain to store unbearable memories elsewhere.

Freud further suggested that, if not recalled, repressed memories can result in physical or mental symptoms.

However, much to everyone’s surprise, Freud later withdrew his initial ideas about abuse and underlying mental health disorders. This obviously negates any ideas about the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults.

Rather he drew the belief that children commonly held sexual fantasies about their parents. This might influence the formation of memories.

This interpretation by Dr. Freud gave rise to the False memory hypothesis. As a result, it led to the belief that memories can be distorted. It can influence the experience of memory recall. In fact, techniques like hypnosis can also influence the experience.

The 1900s witnessed the effects of the false memory hypothesis. Many controversial cases emerged, and some of them led to massive media coverage as well.

Memory Wars – A Long-Standing Debate About the Validity of Repressed Memories

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, North America witnessed the greatest mental health scandal.

Suddenly, all over the US and Canada, daughters came forward with complaints of sexual abuse when they were young.

As a result, many alleged perpetrators were sent to prison, and some for life. These long-repressed memories of sexual abuse were often brought to light by therapists and psychiatrists of victims.

One case that sparked widespread interest was that of Nicole Kluemper.

The Taus v. Loftus Case

In her media reports, Kluemper recounted the nightmarish incident of her recovering the memories of sexual abuse by her mother and the subsequent invasion of her privacy by Elizabeth Loftus, a renowned American psychologist, who published an article on the case in 2002.

While Elizabeth Loftus argued it was not possible to identify the subject of her article, Kluemper believed it to be an intrusion into her privacy and went on to file a lawsuit against Elizabeth Loftus. A full report of this incident is available as the Taus v. Loftus case.

Reportedly, Elizabeth Loftus’s main concern was the use of David Corwin’s findings in other cases as proof, which increased the possibility of innocents being proven guilty.

David Corwin, who was Kluemper’s psychiatrist at the time, had also published his paper related to the case in May 1997 without disclosing the identity of Kluemper. The paper was named “Videotaped Discovery of a Reportedly Unrecallable Memory of Child Sexual Abuse: Comparison with a Childhood Interview Videotaped 11 Years Before.”

Many other such controversial cases continue to baffle the media and wage a war between the proponents and the opposers of the theory of repressed memory.

Elizabeth Loftus was among those who continued to debunk the belief that recollection of childhood trauma can be repressed for decades.

Another powerful crusader against False Memory Syndrome (FMS) are parents of Jennifer Freyd.

Jennifer had also accused her father of sexual assault.

In 1992, Pamela Freyd established a non-profit FMS foundation. The parents maintained their decision that their daughter’s accusation was false and was influenced by memory therapy. 

By 1992, they gained the support of around ten thousand such distressed parents.

There are claims that false memory can be created with dubious therapies. It is commented that these therapists used techniques like hypnotism, doses of sodium amytal, guided imagery, dream analysis, and other dubious methods.

However, there’s no reliable proof.

There’s also no known way to differentiate between the true and false memories aroused by hypnotism.

It’s a possibility that after many therapies, false memories might get so vivid that they may last a lifetime. This theory, in fact, has been supported by many skeptics and those who refuse to believe in the repression of memories.

Scientists today believe that traumas during the developing years can cause psychological and biological vulnerability.

While it’s still rare to completely forget the trauma and experience the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults, there are some viable theories.

Why Do We Forget Childhood Trauma? – Possible Explanations

Despite the controversy, some people still report repressed memory and trauma. There are a few theories that might explain these events.

#1. Dissociation

It’s a common way of dealing with stressful or uncomfortable situations.

People often try to dissociate or detach themselves from severe trauma by blocking or blurring the memory.

Children who have faced abuse might sometimes have the memory, but they may not want to recall it.

However, when they get older and mature enough to deal with the trauma, the recollection of the memory starts to take place.

#2. The Emergence of New Information

Sometimes, old memories and traumas start to make more/different sense in later stages of life.

It usually happens during the time of therapy or because of the maturity you gain through experience.

Moreover, the sudden realization or revelation of the new meaning of the old trauma might cause suffering. This can actually be one of the most common reasons why people gain perspective of their memories later in life.

Having said that, there are ways to manage the signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults and even heal childhood trauma.

Dealing with Childhood Trauma As an Adult

It’s always best to seek immediate support rather than delay treatment when you’ve suffered a trauma.

A therapist can help in overcoming the symptoms of repressed childhood trauma as an adult.

However, make sure the therapist specializes in childhood trauma and has a deep understanding of its effects. 

An empathetic, patient, and professionally equipped therapist will be able to help you navigate your emotions.

As a result, you’ll be able to form better relationships and enjoy an overall more fulfilling life. 

Here are some treatments for repressed childhood trauma in adults:

#1. Narrative Exposure Therapy

This is a short-term therapy session aimed at putting an individual’s life into context. 

It encourages a better understanding of the patient’s entire life experiences and their thought processes. 

This may help cultivate a deeper understanding of where a traumatic memory stems from. 

As a result, this treatment method is often effective for those exhibiting signs of repressed childhood trauma as a result of multiple incidents. 

#2. Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

As the name suggests, this kind of therapy is specifically focused on trauma. 

Engaging in this therapy might help you raise awareness around traumatic experiences. 

This, in turn, helps in fixing any negative connotations, thought patterns, and behaviors associated with the trauma. 

Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy has a good success rate with adolescents and adults alike.

#3. Cognitive Processing Therapy

Cognitive processing therapy is often used with patients with PTSD.

The main aim here is to redefine the traumatic experience and rationalize it for the victim. 

This therapy method is often effective for sexual assault victims and children who have gone through abuse.

#4. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

This is a unique type of psychotherapy where the patient recalls traumatic events while moving their eyes from side to side in a rhythmic pattern.

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing are effective for those with long-standing PTSD.

The therapy sessions can help reduce the negative effects of post-traumatic stress disorder.

#5. Prolonged Exposure Therapy

It’s essentially a gradual approach to the feelings and memories associated with the trauma. 

The professional works with you to help you confront your fears and understand that trauma-related cues are not dangerous.

This kind of treatment plan has much success with patients with anxiety and PTSD-related depression.

Understanding that trauma doesn’t have to dominate your life is the first step to progress.

It can be daunting at first, but there’s no need to feel shame in accepting that you’re a survivor. Getting the therapy you need will help improve the quality of your life drastically.

Takeaway Word

Childhood is a word that should ideally ignite feelings of innocence, bliss, and playfulness. 

Sadly, that’s far-fetched when compared to reality. Almost all of us experience at least one traumatic event during early childhood or adolescence.

Thus far, you might have noticed that some signs of repressed childhood trauma in adults are actually standard behavior for many.

Thus, never self-diagnose on the basis of these signs alone. Every person has a different reaction to trauma. 

Not to mention, memory and trauma are really complicated topics to understand. 

Although traumas during the early stages might impact your life, the idea of repressed memories lacks solid substantial proof so far.

Even if you’ve had a difficult childhood, the emergence of repressed memories after decades has no certain explanation yet. 

To say in the least words, the idea of repressed memories still needs more research. 

As for the present scenario, it’s divided into two schools of thought. One is held by trauma therapists and the other by clinicians and scientists (who are often against the idea altogether).

What If I Believe I Have Repressed Memory?

If you believe you’ve some kind of trauma or have some memories you can’t recall, reaching out to a licensed therapist will likely help. 

Report all the behavioral and physical symptoms you might be feeling. However, you must also exercise some caution.

As per researchers, therapy can also trigger false memories by creating the image of an event that never actually happened.

So, take note that your therapist is impartial and isn’t leading you in a particular direction. 

If you do get clinically diagnosed with trauma, taking up regular sessions with a verified therapist will likely help you manage your symptoms.

Irrespective of whether the memories are repressed or not, negative experiences as a child can very well lead to a fractured sense of self during adulthood.

But you’ve got a fair chance at healing as long as you’re willing to ask the whys and hows of your emotions.

Disclaimer:

The content in this blog is purely for informational purposes, and nothing mentioned above is intended to be a substitute for medical consultation or encouragement for self-diagnosis. Anything related to mental health issues is at best shrouded with a lot of possibilities and speculation until and unless a case is diagnosed by a medical professional, qualified to do so.

This holds even more ground when it comes to repressed memories and trauma as there’s still a lot of controversy around the subject, and there can also be a number of cases where trauma survivors remember the ordeal.

Again, don’t take this content as an alternative for a personal consultation with a medical practitioner who will be able to discuss your issues in a more personalized and trusted environment. If you suspect you or anyone else you know suffers from mental health issues, get in touch with a professional for a proper diagnosis. Some of the helpful resources include:

Disaster Distress Helpline: This is a free and confidential resource for people who are experiencing any kind of emotional distress. It’s a multilingual 24/7 service and provides immediate crisis counseling. Call or text 1-800-985-5990.

Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for free and confidential information and to locate treatment services in your area.